Gabby Fringette 2012
Need. Coffee. Now.
By Gabby Fringette
Have you heard the dumb story that coffee stunts your growth? It is just made up by adults to keep kids from drinking coffee. As it turns out, according to many sources, coffee is good for you. It helps prevent many cancers, such as breast cancer, and skin cancer, and heart attacks, strokes and heart disease, Alzheimer’s, dementia, Parkinson’s disease, gout, and hypertension.
So I think I should start drinking it now, it doesn’t make me hyper. Really, I’m not hyper. I just seem hyper compared to non-Gabby Fringette people.
Here is a list of reasons I should have coffee:
1. It prevents many diseases.
2. Studies show that people who drink coffee are happier.
3. It tastes so good, and it is a symbol of my maturity.
4. And, according to studies, if you drink 7 cups of coffee a day it will cut your risk of getting type 2 diabetes in half. MOMMMMMM! I need seven cups of coffee a day!!!!!! (I’m not hyper now.)
5. It increases test scores if you drink it before you take a test.
Reasons my parents stubbornly think I should not drink coffee:
1. Apparently, it’s a community service to keep people like me off of coffee. According to Mom, I’m normally like the squirrel in the movie Hoodwinked. That is an insult to me, I’m normally like the squirrel when he is on coffee. (See, I’m not hyper.)
2. As it turns out, it has some down sides, like, it changes sleep patterns. And, most seriously, it has 19 carcinogens in it, though it’s not likely that they will take hold of your cells.
It is however agreed that the health benefits outweigh the risks. Whether or not Mom will let me drink coffee though, is a different matter.
021512
I know it’s bad for me, but it’s sooo good
By Gabby Fringette
Would you give a kid alcohol? No. Would you give a kid a cigarette? Oh course not! But would you give a kid some candy, or perhaps a soda? Oh yeah! Good, keep thinking like that; some freaks are thinking that it would be a good idea to make sugar like alcohol, or tobacco, no one under 21 can get it. Anyone who thinks like that should have to smell my shoe.
OK, it’s mostly bad for you, OK all bad for you, but there is sugar in fruit, and, in SPINACH! So, how are they going to get the sugar out of those? Are they going to make us eat lightly toasted air until we are old enough to legally buy it? I may have to do some underground fruit trafficking.
Here is a list of every day products containing sugar:
1. corn chips
2. catsup
3. jam (duh)
4. ramen noodle soup
5. almost all cereal
6. maraschino cherries
7. pickled ginger
8. all canned fruit
9. peanut butter
10. canned beans
11. canned tomatoes
12. mayonnaise
13. cookies
14. worchestershire sauce
15. all chocolate.
And we have a fairly healthy kitchen.
Things
with natural sugar:
1. all fruit
2. fruit juice, yes, even 100 %
3. corn, potatoes, etc, etc.
I have read many articles on the matter; some are for regulating sugar, and others against. I am against.
So why is sugar so dangerous? Well, it is associated with cancer, diabetes, and heart disease. I counter act it with coffee, and garlic, which studies show prevent cancer and heart disease.
Then again, there are studies that say sugar is not the killer, carbs are. When you digest it without fiber, you get too much at once and it overwhelms your body’s systems.
And, white flour has the same glycemic index as sugar, so sugar’s not the only big-bad.
They should focus on high fructose corn syrup, it’s the worst part of sugar, multiplied. And, why is there so much in everything? It’s cheap to make, and sold cheaply. We have to work hard to find jams, cereals and other processed foods with no high fructose corn syrup, it is added to many foods, like catsup, because it is so cheap.
Here is a fun fact: the sugar consumption worldwide has tripled in the last fifty years.
Fruit is still good for you, it has fibers that make sure your stomach breaks down the sugar more slowly.
Here are a few foods I would miss:
1. delicious almond toffee chocolate, oh, it melts in your mouth
2. hard candy
3. the oh-so-good cherry preserves, on my toasted-to-perfection crispy toast with melted butter
4. wonderful corn chips with spicy salsa
5. not spinach.
I can’t imagine life without sugar, I know it’s bad for me, but it’s sooo good. Maybe, for now, they should just try to keep high fructose corn syrup away from kids.
So, I think it’s OK to eat sugar, just try to keep the level down, check the ingredients, and eat fruit.
020812
Icky, Smoochy, Valentines Day
By Gabby Fringette.
From a kid-girl’s prospective, Valentines Day is just an excuse for adults to eat candy and willingly drink each others’ spit.
And boys, sometimes, they CAN be nice.
But, the last time I checked, they were walking around like zombies, with plastic bags on their feet, I guess that’s how they acted before they came here from mars.
Boys think of themselves as macho, normal totally awesome HUNKS (Handsome, Unintelligent, Normal Kind of, Superstars) who girls go wild for. Clearly they never look in the mirror.
Girls are the normal ones. But then they hit 8th grade and for some reason, start going all gooey over boys. Well, some of them. Brothers and their friends, friends’ brothers, and their friends are still ranking as mosquitoes. But for some reason boys think of us as Barbie wielding, pony obsessed, wimps. In truth, not all of us play with dolls, and some of us prefer kitty cats, and we can be very mean and kick our brothers’ butts.
So, kids have common sense about Valentine’s Day, it’s just and excuse for candy, but, for whatever reason, adults make a big deal about it.
But, also from a kids prospective, these are three good things about Valentines Day.
1. All the CANDY!
2. (At least for me) that pink and red for once drives out the boy colors.
3. Mom and Dad are busy, so they won’t notice if I borrow the car. Probably.
020112
Fidgeting. It’s good for you. And sitting still can kill you.
By Gabby Fidgette
Do you have trouble sitting still? Are you always tapping your fingers, or re-adjusting your position?
It’s called fidgeting, and it is NEAT. No, really, that is the acronym: Non Exercise Activity Thermogenesis. It means you are burning fat and calories without specifically exercising. As you can see, it really is NEAT! This was discovered at Mayo University. Before they discovered this, if you were caught fidgeting, you were put on Prozac. One of civilization’s attempts to normalize humans.
As it turns out, fidgeting helps control weight. You’re not so obsessive-compulsive.
It is not natural for kids not to fidget. In fact, next to corn syrup, sitting may be a cause of the obesity in children today.
And, you know, sitting is the new smoking; standing is better for you; perhaps laying is better. Even the ancients knew that. The Greeks and Romans laid down as much as they could. Here are a few things you can do to counter act the sitting.
1. Put trash can on other side of room, then to throw something away, you will have to walk to the other side of the room.
2. Stand up when talking on the phone.
3. Stretch at lunchtime, and, if possible, eat standing up.
4. Exercise before bed, and in the morning.
And, you should walk as much as you can, if you have a job in a large building, take the stairs, don’t go for the elevator (even though it is fun).
Or, scratch yourself, twiddle your thumbs, bounce around in your seat, drum your hands, tap your feet, and just fidget.
012512
A gillion ways to get rid of a tooth.
By Gabby Fringette
Have you ever had a loose tooth that took forever to fall out? Well, my brother, represented here by Stick Figure, has thought of gillions of ways to get rid of loose teeth. Maybe more than should have come out, but, at least you get 50 cents for each one.
1. Take car, tie string to tooth, and to car bumper, have driver go.
2. Take wrecking ball, tie it to tooth, have wrecking ball go!
3. And then, there is the door knob trick…
Modified.
Stick Figure got hit in the face with a wrecking ball, crushed by a door, his tooth came out, but it was the wrong one. Now, more Tooth disasters.
4.Tie small rocket to tooth, light tooth-I mean rocket.
5.Tie cable, (the wire, not TV) to tooth, then to bumper of car. Have driver go.
6.Bite into apple, tie apple to car, have driver go.
7.Bite into apple, and have wrecking ball smash you in face.
8.Tie cable to tooth, tie other end to post, put fire near face, and let your instincts do the rest.
9.Tie tooth to toe, make sure it is tight, have a good friend place glass with angry hornet on face.
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011112
Gross
Skin
By Gabby Fringette
Do you remember when you were 12-14, and you began to discover not only the good things about being a teen, but the zits as well? Well, it might not seem like such a big deal now, just a lump full of puss and dirt, hormones, and bacteria. But you might have experienced it yourself, like, on your 12th birthday, a huge zit on your chin. It seemed to grow in overnight, as if your hormones, puss, and dirt were waiting until the first second of your birthday. “Oh, it’s midnight, rise and puss every one!” Boy I know what that feels like. Exactly what it feels like.
There are several stages to zits.
1. The erupting. The zit pokes up, and it has the white puss-ball imbedded in it.
2. The angry zit. It starts to get red and swell up, and the white part looks like it is going to pop out.
3. The flaking. The zit (who by this time you have named Bumphry) starts to flake skin and bits of dried puss off, and it itches. Oh, the itching.
4. The retreating. Bumphry the zit starts to flatten, as the puss has mostly come out, he is barely noticeable with reddish-skin coloring, and barely a bump, anymore. Unless, of course, you picked at him. If you picked at him, the scar that is Bumphry will stay with you the rest of your life. Unless you get very expensive cosmetic surgery. By the way, eating chocolate does not give you zits.
The next topic is ingrown hairs. An ingrown hair is like a tiny zit, but without all the stages, and with a hair. Ingrown hairs have several places they like to grow, and, where you have one, more follow.
The following are places they like to grow:
1. The knee. Usually, you get an entire city of them, in this case, Knee York City.
2. The arm. Sleeves, do they hide or make worse?
3. And, on the cheeks. The other cheeks, or perhaps I shouldn’t have mentioned that; most people don’t see those.
Warning: do not pick at ingrown hairs, or they will turn into staph infections.
Next, of course, is staph infection (formerly ingrown hairs), a disgusting thing, blotchy, purple-reddish to red, lumpy, sometimes occurring on the nose, or, the leg and stomach area, and, on the arms. I have heard raw garlic is good for killing external staff, and, if necessary, you can walk around with raw garlic sticking from your nostrils, if you have staph there. Or, maybe not. (I am not speaking from personal experience!) Staph can take a long time to clear up. Sometimes it becomes more serious and medical help is called for. Sometimes you get staph from a hospital, called Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA), which can kill you, as all staph can. Staphylococcus can also cause food poisoning, when food is improperly stored. And staff is on all hard, dry surfaces, and any skin blemish can turn to staff.
There are many other gross skin ailments, some are caused by worms, and others like eczema, we don’t know what causes them, others are caused by advanced age, like the many skin features on my dad.
So, remember, wash well. But, there is little you can do about zits, make up only covers it, Bumphry will still be there.
011112
Correction, I forgot to link to my source, this Sierra Sun article, which has lots of good info about the 1924 fire.
010412
The 1924 Fire, Will There Be a 2012 Fire?
By Gabby Fringette
The summer of 1924 was dry. The grass never got very tall, and it was as dry as tissue paper, and would turn to powder in your hands. The air was so hot and dry; you got a bloody nose just from breathing the dry air for too long. Water evaporated quickly, so all that was left in ponds was a muddy, brown sludge.
But why was it like this? Because they had a dry winter, little snow in the normally more snowy places, like now, and little rain.
A normal, small forest fire is sort of good; it does little damage, clears away the dead brush and makes way for the new trees, clearing ground for grass and shrubs, which feed plant eaters, which in turn feed the meat eaters.
But, in 1924, the mountain weather dynamics of the Sierras created a downslope wind on the east slope that fueled huge devastating fires, incinerating everything in their path. The wind created an awful firestorm, and spread incredibly fast.
This is historically known as “Washoe Zephyrs.” These winds blast over the Sierra Nevada and through many other valleys. By the way, ‘Zephyr’ is the west wind, from ancient Greek mythology.
This ravaged the Sierra Nevadas, destroying farms, houses, and killing many hundreds of livestock. A woman named Daisy Parker was a lookout for Sardine Peak, she and her two daughters saw lots of smoke and fire, but survived.
And now here is where my family relations come in. My great grandfather was doing some logging work near Westwood, and was called into duty for fire fighting. And, up here at the Prospect headquarters, there are still a few huge trees which survived the 1924 fire. Sattley was almost wiped out, and many surrounding farms were burnt to the ground. And, 400 sheep were killed; the poor things couldn’t out run the fire. And, some of the fire was filmed, for a Hollywood movie staring Tom Mix.
This is the driest December in 105 years, what if we don’t have any more rain or snow until the end of summer, will we have a catastrophe like the summer of 1924. We have the same problem as 1924, too much under growth, and a dry winter. Or will we be six feet deep in snow in the middle of March? I’m hoping for the snow.
